Time for Me.
In May, I launched my first children’s book “But, she still has time for me”…………
With But she still has time for me I want to honour mothers everywhere, making choices to live their lives and to stay their authentic self at home, work and outside work. We can still put our physical and mental wellbeing and family first without sacrificing a rewarding career or job or home life.
Wrote this book to help children understand that just because mums are busy at home, go to work or have work, it doesn’t mean they are any less important. Each child feel valued as an individual
But she still has time for me scenarios of busy mothers; housing keeping, working from home, at the office, on a site or in a shop, and how us mums irrespective of what we do, how we are feeling or where we work – be it staying at home or pursuing a career will always have the time to spend nurturing, feeding, playing and having fun with our children, even in the smallest and simplest way.
For so many of us though, the time with our children versus time spent doing other things like working, getting on top of the housework, cooking a meal or attending a meeting is really troubling.
We end up feeling a sense of guilt and dissatisfaction with our lives because they think they need to balance it all out when, in fact, this equation is impossible.
No one is harder on mums than themselves, and other mums. Most of the time, we are constantly striving for everything to be perfect, and just so or needlessly compete with each other.
All this does is promote useless mummy guilt.
In addition, there is still a prevailing sub-conscious belief in our society that one way of raising children is better than another, for instance, being a stay-at-home mum is better than working part time, or working full time outside the home.
This is despite multiple recent studies that have shown that a working mum has a favourable effect on her children’s wellbeing and academic performance. Mums derive huge benefits such as improved self-esteem and confidence from working and having time to look after themselves.
All of these in turn benefit their children. What’s often missed is the fact that if they wanted to, all mothers are able to parent in ways that, from their child’s perspective, really matter.
As a mum who has chosen to retain my career, I have lost count of the number of times people have commented about my choice and asked whether or not I feel guilty, but this is what I know – having a career has made me a better mum.
I know that being fulfilled intellectually has meant that when I stop work, I am there for my family 100%.
I talk to our kids about what I do and how important it is to mummy, not just financially but for the family. We have a son and a daughter and I know that the example that my husband and I set is going to be something they take on board when they choose their path.
I just want them to know that they can choose whatever path they want.
The bottom line is, regardless of the choices made, the only right or wrong decision a mum can make, is about having quality time with her child/children.
Simply interacting with our children mindfully when we are together reaps great rewards for everyone.
The message of the book is really simple.
Children will know their mums love them and want to spend time with them – regardless of how frantically busy they may be sometimes.
With each book sold, a donation will be made to Got Your Back Sista, a charity committed to helping women and children rebuild their life after escaping domestic violence.