Why I’m a Proud Bad Mum.
The Jon Lucas and Scott Moore-directed movie ‘Bad Moms’ is all about mums who have to juggle it all – a career, a family that includes children and school, and just about everything else.
In real life, it leaves you quite exhausted at the end of the day. And the worst part is, no one appreciates you for what you have done, they think it is part of your multi-faceted role as a working mum, as a wife, as a member of the community, and so on.
On the contrary, you have other school mums deriding you for not ‘doing your best’ or ‘being a role model for your children’.
When did we start not having each other’s backs?
There was a time when all school mums were actively part of their children’s education and everyone contributed positively, for the school, for the kids, for the betterment of everyone around them.
All of a sudden, there was no longer any teamwork.
To demonstrate themselves as intellectually superior, mum’s on the school P&C start coming up with their own ideas and picking the holes in others’ ideas.
If you are not as active as other mum’s within the school or community, you can often get judged as not being a good enough parent, just so that those who levelled the allegations could be seen as better.
Sadly, this continues even today.
“Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another, but women are by nature enemies” – Arthur Schopenhauer
No one is perfect
It can be disheartening when others belittle you and your efforts.
This causes you to feel bitter and you take out your resentment on others, resulting in one never-ending cycle of negativity.
The only way to break this vicious cycle is to not cave into the temptation to feel bad when others talk ill of you.
“Be the change you want to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi
The truth is that no one is perfect. Perhaps another working mom has it harder than you. She might be a single parent and working two jobs to support herself and her children.
Reach out to others.
All you need to do is ask, “Is everything going on alright with you and the kids?”.
Sometimes all they need is a shoulder to lean on, the assurance that someone realises what she is going through in this cold, cruel world.
Most of the time, they only want someone to listen to them, unappreciated as they are.
And when you need help, they will be there for you, ever so willing to reciprocate what you did for them.
“A single spark can start a prairie fire” -Mao Zedong
Be the spark that starts a fire of goodness.
People will recognise you for the good that you do.
There will always be naysayers, but even they can be won over if you persist in doing good.
Eventually, everyone realises the folly of their ways and starts to follow the example you have set. Even if that doesn’t happen, you can be sure that you made a real difference to the lives of a few fellow moms, and that is all you need to sleep peacefully at night, knowing that you have made the world a better place and that you continue to do so.
To be able to do good to others, you also need to be good to yourself.
This means taking care of yourself.
Just because someone is present at their child’s sports/games and you cannot make it doesn’t mean you have to feel guilty.
Everyone’s circumstances are unique.
It is only when you compare yourself to others, you start to feel bad about yourself, and subsequently become unhappy. Your life situations are different, and you do not need to do what others think is right for your child.
Sometimes, the best way to win the race is by not competing at all.